Backtrax USA with Kid Kelly

A quick look at some 80s icons and what happened after their fifteen minutes ran out.
The lesson to be learned from these updates? "Invest wisely."

[Psst! If you've heard any reasonably reliable dirt on an 80s celebrity, e-mail the info to forget@backtrax.com along with your name and the source of this little tidbit (so we don't get sued.) Each month, we'll select the best submission to add to our update. If it's yours, you'll win a great Backtrax 80s Prize Pack. Plus, you'll get a credit and become (temporarily) more famous than Ally Sheedy!]

THE “DYNASTY” CREW

The nighttime soap that defined 80s excess went off the air in 89 (but someone should have put it out of its mercy long before that whole Moldavian wedding affair -- sheesh!). Here's what some of the main cast members have been up to since trading in their Nolan Miller gowns. John Forsythe (Blake Carrington) is spending time with his extensive art and antiques collection, and his three grown children. Linda Evans (Krystle Carrington) recently got dumped by her 12-years younger lover, Yanni. Maybe the fights over hair care products just got to be too much. Anyway, Linda started a chain of fitness centers, in response to her own dramatic weight gain after leaving the series. Now that Yanni's gone, she'll really have something to pork out over. Joan Collins (Alexis) has gone the way of her sister Jackie and is writing trashy novels -- one catfight per chapter! She also appears in sitcoms occasionally. Pamela Sue Martin (the original Fallon Carrington) left the show in 84 for a "normal" life -- if you count four ex-husbands as "normal." She lives in Idaho with her young son these days and is recently divorced. Emma Samms (Fallon #2) sold and produced a screenplay for the USA Network. John James (Jeff Colby) wisely saved his money and moved to Connecticut, where he continues to do a few TV projects -- but mostly does farm chores and spends time with his wife and kids. Michael Nader (Dex Dexter) returned to daytime soaps and is currently on "All My Children." Catherine Oxenberg (Amanda) got her start playing Princess Diana on an early TV movie. She made tabloid headlines when she jumped into a quickie marriage with a Hollywood producer -- then jumped back out again in a few days. She's currently married to actor Casper Van Dien.

THE BRAT PACK

Demi Moore has found life beyond "St. Elmo's Fire" and Judd Nelson did OK on TV (starring with Brooke Shields in the sitcom "Suddenly Susan.") But wither our other 80s idols? Molly Ringwald spent time in Paris, returned to series TV in the quickly cancelled "Townies," then married her French boyfriend (ooh la la). After parodying himself in "Wayne's World" and playing a deaf-mute in the miniseries, "The Stand." Rob Lowe is now starring on NBC's "The West Wing" (just don't let him near the video camera). Ally Sheedy has received critical acclaim with her work in a couple of indy films including, "High Art," in which she played a heroin-addicted lesbian photographer -- now that would've made an interesting twist for "The Breakfast Club." She's also married and has a daughter. Anthony Michael Hall evolved from geek to steroid-pumped creep in "Edward Scissorhands"...then back to geek again, playing the young Bill Gates in TNT's movie, "Pirates of Silicon Valley." Jami Gertz appeared in "Twister" as the sex-therapist girlfriend who screams a lot, and did some guest shots on "ER." Andrew McCarthy continues to work too, albeit in movies no one sees --except maybe on cable. Same for Jon Cryer -- he's gone from "Pretty In Pink"'s "Ducky" to sitcoms and onto respectable indie films ("The Pompatus of Love"). Emilio Estevez has continued to work, and just did a well-recieved cable movie with brother Charlie Sheen -- the true-life story of two porn movie producers (something Charlie knows about).

THE TWO COREYS

The joined-at-the-hip Coreys are finding life's pretty tough when you're past your "cute" phase. Corey Feldman had a couple of publicized drug busts -- but now stays clean, sober and gainfully employed working in straight-to-cable and video things, like "Evil Obsession." Corey Haim filed for Chapter 11, after finding out he owed almost a quarter-million bucks in taxes. He still works (gotta pay Da Man, right?), with a 1997 movie called "Demolition High" the last thing on his resume'. Maybe someone will make "Lucas: The Mid Life Crisis Years."

JENNIFER GREY

She was Ferris Bueller's sister and Patrick Swayze's "dirty dancing" partner...and then she had to go and get a nose job. She hasn't had any real movie success since then -- and I hear a reliable rumor that she lost several roles to Sarah Jessica Parker. Which is even harsher, because Sarah is now married to Jen's ex-boyfriend, Matthew Broderick. Mee-ow! Jen recently played herself in the Hollywood-based TV sitcom, "It's Like You Know."

ROBERT ENGLUND (“FREDDY KRUEGER”)

Just like McDonald's, the Freddy Krueger franchise just never dies. Robert -- who made Ginsu- knives- for- fingers a fashion statement -- took one last stab at the character in "Freddy Vs. Jason," in which he battled it out with the equally-indestructible "Friday the 13th" psycho.

GUNS N ROSES

Axl Rose has become a hermit, fighting lawsuits from ex-wives, former bandmates and ex-supermodel girlfriends, and holed up in the studio still working on the "next" Gunners album -- but he's the only member in the band apparently. And taking a page out of Brian Wilson's playbook, he won't make any decisions without first consulting his New Age advisor. Slash has surprised everyone by writing a song that got lots of airplay on (gasp) -- Smooth Jazz radio stations! Who knew?

JODY WATLEY

Our Lady of the Hoop Earrings is a divorced mother of two, living in Beverly Hills. She recently released a new CD compilation, which she calls "mellower" than her "asta la vista, baby" days. She admits testing out her music on her teenaged son -- if he hates it, it doesn't make the record. Well, better than using a Magic 8 Ball.

BOW WOW WOW

Annabella Lwin was only 14 when the group first got together in 1980 -- and had their only hit, "I Want Candy." She and one other original "Wow"-ser, Leigh Gorman, have reformed the band -- with two new members. They recently did some live shows in L.A. which were well-received. Wonder how much they got on the candy concession?

RICK SPRINGFIELD

Mr. Working Class Dog released a new CD in 1999, "Karma," and has been extensively touring in support of it. He spent the last few years concentrating on acting (remember, he was Dr. Noah Drake on "General Hospital" before making it big in 80s music). How ya like me now, Jessie's Girl?!

THE “FACTS OF LIFE” GIRLS

The facts of life are....just because you have a hit sitcom one day is no guarantee of a long showbiz career. Kim ("Tootie") Fields did the best, with an ongoing role in "Living Single" (now cancelled). She's followed by Nancy ("Jo") McKeon, who appeared in a couple of sitcoms that didn't last. Mindy ("Natalie") pops up rarely -- she did a radio show in 1995, was last seen on another short-lived sitcom, "The Second Half." Lisa ("Blair") Whelchel has pretty much given up showbiz -- with the exception of appearing in some infomercials -- and is married to a minister. She spends most of her time home-schooling her three kids...and presumably teaching them the facts of life.